She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
