so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
