New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
