Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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