just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
