I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
