I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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