Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
