Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
