Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
