You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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