He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
