Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
