I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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