you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you inspire me to be a worse person
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
