Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
