I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
