Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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