i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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