i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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