Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So. Much. Porn.
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