He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
try to milk me bitch
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