dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
