in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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