She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
