Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
