Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
