Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
