its not stalking. its research.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
