Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
