put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
