I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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