When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
