He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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