How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
