I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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