Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize