I want to walk on stilts...naked
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
