My balls are so social today.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
