There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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