the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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