So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
