Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
