Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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