Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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