Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
