I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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