hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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