is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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