For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
