Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
