i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
