Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I looked at my own cervix.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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