I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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