He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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