Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
