puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
