I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
