Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
