They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
